Do we protect our daughters or educate our sons?
Feminism; women's rights on the ground of equality of the sexes. Being a feminist advocate means you believe in equality however as time has gone on, the word itself has almost become a slur to belittle and insult a person. Specifically women.
The connotations are insinuating that if you’re an advocate of women’s rights, you are ‘against’ men which is not the case.
Men are not the enemy.
It makes me think that there has been such slow progress in gaining equality because people are too afraid to go against the grain and finally do what is right. At what point are we going to take a stand and highlight the complete oppression of women’s rights and also what we as women have to go through on a daily basis to live our lives?
At what point will we realise that women do not exist to satisfy the male gaze? It costs more to be a woman, in the same world where we are paid substantially less than men and yet we are tricked into believing that “splitting the bill” is the route to equality. There are so many examples where we as women have our experiences differed to please the eyes of the male gaze in society. For starters, we choose our route home based entirely on which route we are least likely to be harassed or have men lurking around us. Scarily this mindset has become a social normality and for some reason, we are taught that this is the correct way to think. We have the inability to say no to a male who won't leave us alone as we are too afraid of what they might do next. The problem isn’t with ‘us’ instead it is with the males who have a constant fear of rejection and would never be ‘ghosted’ by a girl — that would be far too embarrassing in front of the lads don’t you think?
We are told to grasp our keys like a weapon on our way home, we are told not to walk home by ourselves at night and we are told to spend money on preventative measures like pepper sprays and rape alarms. But where is the emphasis on educating males so these measures would only be necessary in extreme cases, not our daily lives? Why are we constantly being held accountable and have the recycled phrase “she asked for it” constantly said all because of male incompetence to keep their ‘power’ to themselves instead of holding it over us instead?
Society teaches girls to shame to make sure we cover ourselves, making us feel like our clothes say more about consent than our mouths do. Does it make it okay for a male to take advantage of a woman because she has a sliver of skin showing? Is that us asking for it? Not to forget this doesn't just apply to walking around society but this has been applied in schools for as long as most people can remember. The vigilant teachers who make sure our skirts aren't too short or our bra straps aren't showing so that we don't distract the boys, yet they will happily interrupt our education and send us home for these reasons. Does this mean that boys are more entitled to education than girls are? Is covering our bodies more important than our education? These are questions that we will always struggle to get answers to due to the fact that there is no real reason. These are just a few of the patriarchal norms that benefit the male gaze in society and have done for generations.
Therefore I have to ask the question.
Are we just going to continue to accept the fact that we as women have to use all these preventative measures in order to satisfy the male gaze and protect ourselves or are we going to educate these men to teach them their limits?
Some will say “not all men” and that is true however, we as women generalise “all men” into one category because we have to! We don’t have the time or knowledge to find out if the man who is behind us while we walk home at night is going to assault us or if he is innocently walking home too. So yes, this does not apply to “all men” but you can’t blame us for fearing these horror stories that we hear on the news on a daily basis from happening to us. The scary fact is that 1 in 3 women will be sexually harassed in their lifetime and 97% of all young women in the UK have been sexually harassed or modified their behaviour to prevent them from being attacked.
Sarah Everad, a name that has passed everybody's lips in the past few weeks, lost her life to the hands of a man, walking her normal route home. This was a man we are supposed to respect and trust, a man who should set an example to all men. A man who abused his authority. Sadly, it takes a case like this to outline just how misogynistic our society is, and it leaves me pondering how long the debate of a potential reform of our society will continue until it is quashed to nothing but just that. A debate women have been fighting for since the ages of time.
